Regret

Today my sister and I went to the hospital to visit my grandma who has recently suffered a TIA and then a full on stroke that has affected the left side of her brain (controls speech and thought process). She is unable to communicate and gets frustrated easily because she cannot gather her thoughts to verbalize what she wants to say. This brought tears to my eyes as I felt her frustration and realized that we may never hear the stories about our family history again. This is really difficult for me because I just met my grandma 8 years ago and have been so busy with my own life that I haven't spent very much time with her and my grandpa. This is were my Regret is eating away at me. I truly did not take advantage of the time I was given with her and now it is too late. Although she is still here with us, her mind is gone. I know I am a nurse and should be able to handle this better but it is so different when the patient is your family member. I love my grandma so much and want to thank her for bringing me into my dads side of the family with open loving arms. She is a wonderful lady who does not deserve to be suffering like this. I am wishing for a miracle that her brain is able to compensate for its losses and that she will regain her ability to think, process conversation and to verbalize her needs. Grandma, I love you.